So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Someone signed my nipple.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
