i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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