Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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