just tell him i said nine months
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize