You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
