I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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