Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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