i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
