i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
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do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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