so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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