she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
