Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
