yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
