my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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