Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Will you blow on my dice?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize