hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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