just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
