Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm eating all of the evidence.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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