Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I want to be your penis for a week.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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