Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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