Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
