She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
be right there i have to get my cape
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
