I puked a lego.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
