even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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