operation harelip BJ is a go
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
