did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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