I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
