Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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