just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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