Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
