I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
