ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
