My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
