I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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