i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
