So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
