she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
