Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
