so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
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I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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