smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
