thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
