Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
