I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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