im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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