you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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