we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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