your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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