Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
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My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
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sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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