you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
