I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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