I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize