FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
