Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
