I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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