Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
