I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
