Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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