I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
