Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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