His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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